Yasashī Shinjitsu to Seiryaku Kekkon Volume 1 Chapter 3

‘Matilda…’

A voice called in a whisper. She awoke to her cheek being caressed. In the bright glow of the full moon and the light of the candles; the person on her bed is well illuminated. Leandroth.

Why was he here?

Was this another perverted dream?

Most likely.  She gave a fleeting smile. He saw her small smile but did not reciprocate.

He frowned at her, ‘I heard you drank poison,’

Matilda gave a tiny almost indiscernible nod. What did it matter, it was not an interrogation. How come he knew about her country’s secret poison? Ah yes, it is a dream. Her head was woolly, she couldn’t think.

‘Do you not want to be my wife so badly?’

She nodded.

This was a political marriage. She had no choice but to obey the decisions. But that wasn't the reason she took the poison...

She wanted to rest.

‘…Matilda,’

Even so, her true desire was impudent. She wanted to laugh at the hypocrisy/irony.

She wanted someone to worry, somewhere at the bottom of my heart. She wanted someone to look for her – somewhere in the corner of her heart. No. That was not true. Not in a deep down corner but with her whole being, she wanted to be needed.

To be needed by whom?

Her father, the King. Her Father.

She started to cry.

Luckily this was only a dream; she did not have to worry about Leandroth seeing her like this.

Matilda cried, all the tears she had suppressed and endured, she cried.

She began to sob loudly, dream Leandroth hugged her tightly. Even though it was a dream, it was still rather nice. Her dream was nice.

Now if she had a dream about father, it would be good.

While she was crying, her dream Leandroth said incomprehensibly, 
‘Matilda, no matter how much you think you dislike me, I will make you my wife!’

Huh…? She stopped.

‘I will not let you cry, you are my wife. I will not return to governing until you are well. I will not let you escape from me for the rest of my life!’

She peered at him through tear drenched lashes, ‘Aren't you a dream?’ she asked dozily.

Leandroth stared at her, confused. His eyes widened as he began to comprehend Matilda’s mutterings.

‘Dream?’

‘I am dreaming, right. This is a dream and you are not really here.’

Because she thought she was dreaming, she let herself cry. She closed her eyes and opened them again. Leandroth was still there looking at her.

‘Eh~?!’

No way, this is real?! She looked incredulously at him.

‘…Did you think you were dreaming of me?’ He asked

Matilda slowly nodded.

‘Whispering so persistently, you caressed me?’

Matilda nodded without thinking about the question, but then noticed it was odd and tilted her head to look at him.

Whispering? What?

‘I thought that I had a nice dream, but ...’ he said vaguely as he pulled up the covers around him. Matilda thought this scene was a tad strange, as she jerked back from him. She felt a thick hot lump pressed against her body.

‘Um…’

Heavy!

She tried to exclaim, but stopped when there was a tremendously long sigh from Leandroth, ‘It’s…’ he whispered in her ear.

‘A dream, is it?’ he said swaying a little. It was a little scary. But the weight was slowly pulled away but he had a smile on his face that looked a bit lonely. He held is arms up to her and pulled her into a hug, making her sit between his legs. He held her tenderly and asked,

‘So tell me why you are crying…’ he stroked her cheeks, wiping her tears. It was too embarrassing to confess that she was crying because she wanted her father’s love and attention. She turned her head away.

‘Because of me?’
She shook her head.

He smiled at her sweetly and asked, ‘Is it because of your father?’

Why are you smiling here?

‘Is it because you love your father very much?’

Her eyes widened at that.

‘Did you think your father abandoned you?’

She did not nod. From the start, none of her effort was needed by her father. Leandroth held her face in his hands. They are bigger than her father’s, firm and callused hands of a sword user. She could not answer or nod. She stiffened her body as Leandro brought her in for a kiss.

‘First of all, I am sorry. I didn't want to do such a thing because I wanted you get to know me better, and so I could know you better. I didn't want you to suffer, but I couldn't help myself.’

Such a thing? Was this about the first night she arrived? Her face grew flushed,
‘I am really sorry but it wasn't a dream...’ he said.

Matilda looked at him in shock, he looked quite sheepish.

‘I-I thought I was a pervert, I thought something was wrong with me…’ she said, the words coming out with a burst of courage, ‘I was convinced that I who was having such lewd dreams was disgraceful.’

He gave a sad smile, his expression a bit lonely as he asked, ‘Tell me the truth, do you not want to marry me?’

His expression was grave. She worried about her reply, but Matilda turned from him and said,

‘I do not know,’ that really was the truth.

‘I see,’

She turned back to him to see him smiling gently, ‘That…your Majesty,’ she began to say,

‘Leandroth, I want you to call me Leann.’

Why are you so gentle? She wondered as she looked up at him. His gaze was warm.

‘Your Majesty,’ she began again, making Leandroth laugh, ‘after some thought, I don’t think that carrying out my duty as the Empress is hateful.’ Leandroth had an expression of dissatisfaction on his face.

After so long it is true, trying to kill one’s self it is not hateful when one sees a bleak future. She gave a self mocking smile

‘For now, let’s not think about our respective roles.’

‘What? Why?’ She asked her head tilted to one side

‘Why?’ He replied, apeing her head tilt, ‘Why do you mind marrying me?’

This issue was something she had wanted to let of her chest.

‘Marrying a lewd ugly woman like me does not benefit the Barenshiaga Empire or you.’

‘Benefits huh…’

‘And if you were planning on having a mistress, would it not be better if we weren't too close, and calling each other by name comfortably?’ she said, as a nervous sweat filled her palms. She did not want to care whether he took a mistress, or a whole harem, or had his heir with another, it didn't matter. If she wasn't allowed to die, she wanted to live quietly and graciously.

But she did not want to suddenly be abandoned, wondering why she wasn't needed anymore. His kindness to her was just a poison. She did not need affection made of lies. She did not want it.

‘Therefore, it would be better if you call me “Empress” and I keep on calling you “Your Majesty”.’

‘You surprisingly do not listen to what people are telling you,’ he said laughing, ‘You don’t want to have anything to do with the empire or the Emperor,’ his laughter made Matilda frown, ‘but, the person I have desired for a long time is within my grasp.' 
Matilda’s eyes widened as Leandroth’s words begin to sink in.

‘If the one I desire comes, I have to make them Empress, do you not think?’

Matilda tilts head in confusion and Leandroth mirrored her.

‘Well I welcomed them. I have welcomed you.’

What about all those ladies in the courtyard?

‘Well, I do not need it,’ she protested. It is painful.

Leandroth pointed at Matilda, ‘I need it.’

‘Ehh?’

‘I need you, Mattie.’ He said smiling brightly at her.

‘Me?’

‘You.’

‘You mean me?’

‘Yes, you.’ (Zuben: It couldn't be. Then who?...No1 stole the meat from the cooking pot)

His smile was dazzling; Matilda could not take her eyes off his handsome face. It felt as though she was being enchanted by a being with strange powers. Such a feeling was convenient.

‘Please understand this; I have no plans to have a white marriage with you. You will not be returning home for I am not letting you go,’

‘So you will accept it, and accept me.’ He said his voice deep and seductive.

Matilda was mesmerised by Leandroth. She did not notice as he turned her and lay her back on the bed until he covered her with his heated body. He began to kiss her working his way down along her right shoulder.

‘We have about a month and a half before our wedding so it should not be too bad if you get pregnant before the day. It is within a tolerable margin, don’t you think?’ he said seductively as he slowly peeled her night dress off her shoulders.

It is not a tolerable margin of error at all, she cried inwardly.

‘Let me make love to you.’ He kissed her, taking her breath away, making her dizzy. His right hand cupped her left breast from over her night dress,

‘Soft.’ He crooned, smiling through his kiss. It was a joyous smile…Incredible. He drew down her clothes to reveal her breasts, Matilda watched the man who would become her husband caress the mounds of fat that she’d hated for so long, happily.

Words from Zuben:

 If some sentences are jarring and slightly incomprehensible, it is because they were entirely incomprehensible.

Yay! The misunderstandings with Leandroth are somewhat clear at least, and she can stop this mopey idiot nonsense she was doing. Funky time is funky. As I am editing this I am on the bus hoping the bus would teleport me home because my bladder is full and I am also full of enough air to fly me to Burma! Not good. Not good at all! 

Let me know of any typos if you would be so kind x

Index⚔Chapter 4